octopussarian

Fresh
#old man energy#creepy#gross

0 views · Added 4h ago · 6 definitions

1
An octopussarian is a grumpy old man in his eighties who can’t stop thinking about having sex. He’s like a broken radio playing nothing but dirty songs.
My grandpa asked me if I had a date. I said no. He said, 'Good. I can take you.'
At the grocery store, he hit on the clerk. The clerk looked like he just saw a ghost.
He tried to flirt with my dog. The dog just stared at him like he was a weird sandwich.
by Slangipedia 4h ago
2
An octopussarian is a man in his eighties who thinks about sex so much it makes his brain smell like a dirty sock.
He walked into a bar and said, 'I just came from a date. It was a disaster.' The bar laughed. He said, 'I didn’t know the woman was a cop.'
He tried to ask my mom out. My mom just looked at him like he had two left feet.
He told me he had a date with a chicken. I asked why. He said, 'It was the only one who said yes.'
by Slangipedia 4h ago
3
An octopussarian is a man who’s so old he thinks about sex like it’s a Sunday morning routine. He doesn’t need a calendar, he needs a stiff drink.
He told me he had a date with his neighbor’s cat. I asked why. He said, 'The cat said it wanted to meet a man.'
He walked into a pizza place and said, 'I need a large pepperoni and a side of flirting.'
He told me he had a date with a tree. I asked why. He said, 'It was the only one who didn’t laugh at my jokes.'
by Slangipedia 4h ago
4
An octopussarian is a man who thinks about sex so much he forgets how to walk. He walks like he’s trying to seduce a wall.
He walked into a pharmacy and asked for a date. The pharmacist said, 'We don’t do dates here.' He said, 'I’ll take a pill.'
He tried to flirt with my dog again. The dog just walked away like it was a bad idea.
He told me he had a date with his lawyer. I asked why. He said, 'She said yes, but she also said I owe her $100.'
by Slangipedia 4h ago
5
An octopussarian is a man who thinks about sex like it’s his second job. He’s got a calendar, a phone, and a stiff drink.
He walked into a coffee shop and said, 'I need a coffee and a date.' The barista said, 'We don’t do dates here.' He said, 'I’ll take a latte.'
He told me he had a date with his doctor. I asked why. He said, 'She said I need more sleep.'
He tried to flirt with my dog again. The dog just stared at him like he was a weird person.
by Slangipedia 4h ago
6
An octopussarian is a man who thinks about sex so much his brain is on fire. He can’t stop talking about it, even when he’s trying to sleep.
He walked into a restaurant and said, 'I need a steak and a date.' The waiter said, 'We don’t do dates here.' He said, 'I’ll take a side of flirting.'
He told me he had a date with his brother. I asked why. He said, 'He said yes, but he also said I need a haircut.'
He tried to flirt with my dog again. The dog just walked away like it was a bad idea.
by Slangipedia 4h ago
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