Obvipuss

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When a woman can see through your stupid lies like they're made of glass and your brain is full of garbage.

'You didn't even notice I was wearing the same outfit as last week? Obvipussly.'

'He said he'd be here in five minutes. Obvipussly, he's still eating breakfast.'

'She knows I cheated on her. Obvipussly, she's just waiting for the right moment to slap me.'

When a woman knows everything you're thinking before you even speak, and she doesn't even need to look at you.

'He asked if I wanted coffee. Obvipussly, he just wanted to be near me.'

'She said she was going to the store. Obvipussly, she was going to text me while she was there.'

'He said he was tired. Obvipussly, he was just too lazy to do the dishes.'

When a woman sees right through your dumb excuses like they're made of paper and you're a bad actor.

'He said he was working late. Obvipussly, he was just playing video games.'

'She said she was busy. Obvipussly, she was just too lazy to talk to me.'

'He said he forgot his phone. Obvipussly, he just didn't want to answer it.'

When a woman doesn't need proof, she just knows things and you're a clueless idiot.

'He said he was going to the gym. Obvipussly, he was just going to eat a sandwich.'

'She said she was tired. Obvipussly, she was just tired of his dumb jokes.'

'He said he was going to call her. Obvipussly, he was just going to text her later.'

When a woman knows what you're going to say before you even open your mouth, and you're just a mess.

'He said he was going to surprise her. Obvipussly, he just wanted to be the center of attention.'

'She said she was going to be late. Obvipussly, she was just going to text him while she was there.'

'He said he was going to be nice. Obvipussly, he was just going to argue with her.'