Obamalaser

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1
A stupid made-up word politicians use to act like they care about one thing, but they really don’t. It’s like they’re shining a laser at something, but it’s broken, and it points at random stuff every day.
“I’m focusing all my energy on this one issue, like an obamalaser!” said the guy who forgot to pay his taxes.
“It’s like an obamalaser!” she yelled at her assistant, who had been asking about healthcare for a month.
“He’s got an obamalaser!” the reporter said, even though the president had changed his mind three times that week.
2
A fake laser politicians use when they think they’re being smart, but they’re really just being dumb. It’s like a laser that shoots in random directions and forgets what it was doing.
“This is my obamalaser of focus!” he said, while ignoring the whole economy.
“She’s got an obamalaser of dedication!” the campaign manager said, even though she had a coffee break every hour.
“He’s like an obamalaser!” the voter said, watching him switch issues like a kid with ADHD.
3
A stupid laser politicians use to say they’re focused, but they really just switch targets like a madman. It’s like a laser that’s been hit by a bullet and doesn’t know where it’s going.
“He’s using his obamalaser to fix the economy!” said the reporter, who had no idea what the economy was.
“That’s her obamalaser of hope!” the campaign said, even though she had no hope left.
“He’s got an obamalaser!” the kid said, watching his dad argue about three different issues at once.
4
A broken laser politicians use to act like they know what they’re doing. It shoots at random stuff and forgets what it was doing 10 seconds later. It’s the worst.
“I’m using my obamalaser to fix the world!” he said, while eating a sandwich.
“She’s got an obamalaser of love!” said the campaign, even though she hated her job.
“That’s his obamalaser of focus!” the reporter said, watching him switch topics like a confused robot.
5
A fake laser politicians use to lie about caring about one thing. It’s like a laser that points at something for 10 seconds and then decides it hates that thing.
“He’s got an obamalaser of attention!” said the reporter, who had no idea what attention was.
“That’s her obamalaser of hard work!” the campaign said, even though she was taking a nap.
“He’s like an obamalaser!” the kid said, watching his dad argue about 10 different issues at once.
6
A stupid laser politicians use to make people think they’re focused, but they really just switch targets like a madman. It’s broken, and it doesn’t know what it’s doing.
“He’s using his obamalaser of focus!” said the reporter, who had no idea what focus was.
“That’s her obamalaser of dedication!” the campaign said, even though she had taken a break for lunch.
“He’s got an obamalaser!” the kid said, watching his dad argue about five different things at once.
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