O Smith

Smith walked into the bar and asked the bartender if she wanted to go home with him. She said no. He asked again. She said no. He asked if she was married. She said no. He asked if she was taking a nap. She said yes. He said, 'Perfect.'

At the village market, Smith asked the baker if she wanted to try his new pie. She said no. He said, 'That’s okay. I’ll just try it with you.'

Smith saw a woman walking her dog and asked if the dog wanted to go for a walk with him. The woman said no. He said, 'Then the dog must be cheating on her.'

Smith saw a woman at the well and said, 'I’ll carry your water if you carry my heart.' She said no. He said, 'That’s fine. I’ll carry both.'

At the tavern, Smith asked the waitress if she wanted to be his girlfriend. She said no. He said, 'That’s okay. I’ll just be your boyfriend.'

Smith walked into the church and asked the priest if he could marry him to every woman in the village. The priest said no. Smith said, 'That’s okay. I’ll just keep asking.'

Smith saw a woman at the market and said, 'I’d like to buy a loaf of bread and a piece of you.' She said no. He said, 'That’s okay. I’ll just take the bread and leave the rest for the next person.'

At the village square, Smith asked a woman if she wanted to be his wife. She said no. He said, 'That’s okay. I’ll just be your husband.'

Smith walked into the bar and said, 'I’m here to drink and flirt. If I can’t do both, I’ll just drink.'