Machiavorkianism

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When you get so cold-hearted and don't care about anyone else that you help someone end their life just because they're a pain in the ass.

I told my cousin to jump off the bridge. He did. I didn’t even flinch.

My neighbor asked me to help her kill her cat. I said yes. It was a bad day for the cat.

My brother was about to die. I said, 'Let me help you out.' He thanked me. I didn’t.

Being so morally broken that you help someone die because you’re too lazy to deal with their drama.

My mom was crying. I said, 'Just end it.' She did. I got extra pizza for dinner.

My coworker was being a bother. I said, 'Go kill yourself.' He did. I got promoted.

My dog was barking non-stop. I told him to go to the afterlife. He did.

When you’re so emotionally dead inside that you don’t mind helping someone take their own life just to make things easier for everyone.

My friend was sad. I said, 'Just go die.' He did. I got extra snacks.

My ex said she wanted to die. I said, 'Go ahead.' She did. I got a new ex.

My teacher was tired. I told her to go to sleep forever. She did. I got an A.

When you’re so emotionally and morally messed up that you don’t even blink when someone takes their life because you’re too busy being a jerk.

I told my sister to go to the afterlife. She did. I got more candy.

My brother was crying. I said, 'Go die.' He did. I got extra video games.

My friend was sad. I said, 'Just end it.' She did. I got a new friend.

Being so morally and emotionally dead that you help someone commit suicide just because it’s easier than dealing with them.

My mom was annoying. I told her to go to the afterlife. She did. I got more sleep.

My coworker was being a bother. I said, 'Go die.' He did. I got a raise.

My neighbor asked me to help her kill her dog. I said yes. It was a good day for me.

When you’re so emotionally and morally broken that you help someone kill themselves just because you’re too much of a jerk to care.

My friend was sad. I told her to go to the afterlife. She did. I got more pizza.

My ex said she wanted to die. I said, 'Go ahead.' She did. I got a new ex.

My brother was crying. I said, 'Just go die.' He did. I got a new video game.