macchew peanut

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1
Macchew Peanut is a dumb German peanut brain who thinks he’s a genius. He’s also named Matthew, which is the worst name ever.
My cousin is Macchew Peanut. He tried to explain quantum physics to my dog.
At the grocery store, Macchew Peanut yelled at the cashier for not knowing the difference between a peanut and a cashew.
In math class, Macchew Peanut said 2+2=5 because he ‘feels it in his soul.’
2
Macchew Peanut is a Matthew who acts like he’s smart, but he’s just a peanut who thinks he’s Einstein. Also, he’s very German.
Macchew Peanut tried to fix my phone and now it’s broken. Also, he called me ‘little peanut.’
He showed up to my birthday party with a peanut and a map of Peru. No one knows why.
He told my mom he’s ‘a genius in the making’ and then spilled coffee on her dress.
3
Macchew Peanut is a Matthew who thinks he’s the king of peanuts. He’s German, he’s dumb, and he talks too much.
Macchew Peanut texted me 17 times about his peanut obsession. I blocked him.
He tried to start a peanut empire in the school cafeteria. It failed.
He told my teacher he was ‘a peanut and a half’ and got sent to the principal’s office.
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