Ladyfaun

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A woman who drinks so much she forgets her own name. She’s your best friend when the wine is flowing and the insults are flying.

I called her Lisa. She said her name was Jennifer. I called her Jennifer. She said she was Lisa. I called her a drunk cow.

She drank the whole bottle of wine and tried to flirt with my brother. My brother ran away.

She texted me at 2 a. m. saying she was married to a toaster. I believed her.

A lady who drinks until she’s loud, crazy, and sometimes naked. She’s your best friend when you need someone to scream with you.

She showed up at my house in pajamas and a bra. I asked why she was half dressed. She said, 'I'm a ladyfaun. I need freedom.'

She drank three shots and started singing opera. I cried. She laughed.

She texted me saying she was going to marry the bar. I said, 'Good luck.'

A woman who drinks so much she becomes your partner in crime. She'll do anything for a drink, even steal your fries.

She stole my fries and said they were 'fry-napped.' I called her a thief. She said I was a sore loser.

She drank the whole drink and then tried to fight the waiter. The waiter ran away.

She texted me saying she was going to open a bar called 'The Ladyfaun.' I said, 'That’s a weird name.'

A woman who drinks until she can’t walk straight. She’s your friend when you’re both drunk and having a good time.

She drank so much she fell off the couch. I tried to help her up. She said, 'I’m fine. I’m just a drunk ladyfaun.'

She tried to dance in my kitchen. I said it was messy. She said it was fun.

She texted me at 3 a. m. saying she was going to become a pirate. I said, 'Good luck.'

A lady who drinks so much she becomes your enemy. But only when you’re both drunk and arguing about the last piece of cake.

She took the last piece of cake and said, 'You’re a cake thief.' I said, 'You’re a cake monster.'

She drank the whole bottle and started arguing with my dog. The dog ran away.

She texted me saying she was going to start a cake war. I said, 'Bring it on.'

A woman who drinks until she can’t remember what she said. She’s your friend when you both forget your problems and just drink.

She said she was a billionaire. I said she was a drunk billionaire. She said I was a sore loser.

She drank so much she tried to talk to the ceiling. I said it was a weird conversation.

She texted me saying she was going to live in a bottle. I said, 'That’s a weird life.'