Kaki Kessem (Poop Magic)

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#poop legend#wipe warrior#touch rule

3 views · Added 9d ago · 6 definitions

1
A Kaki Kessem is when you wipe once and it’s clean. If you need more than one wipe, you’re a failure. It’s like getting a perfect score on a poop test.
First wipe: clean. Second wipe: shame. Third wipe: humiliation.
I did a Kaki Kessem and felt like a king. Then I remembered I had to go to work.
He claimed he had a Kaki Kessem, but I saw the toilet paper pile. He’s lying.
by Slangipedia 9d ago
2
If you touch the toilet paper twice, you failed. But if you just look at it, you’re a hero. That’s the Touch Rule, baby.
She looked at the toilet paper and said, ‘I achieved a Kaki Kessem.’ I said, ‘You’re full of it.’
He reached for the toilet paper, stopped, and said, ‘I’m still perfect.’
The Touch Rule is the worst rule ever. I touched it once and got banned from Kaki Kessem heaven.
by Slangipedia 9d ago
3
Kaki Kessem is the holy grail of pooping. You don’t want to be the guy who wiped twice. That’s the guy who got the short end of the poop stick.
He wiped once and left. I wiped twice and stayed in the bathroom for 10 minutes.
My dog did a Kaki Kessem and I envied him. I had to wipe three times.
She said she had a Kaki Kessem. I said, ‘You’re a god.’ She said, ‘I’m just a good pooper.’
by Slangipedia 9d ago
4
If you don’t have to wipe more than once, you’re living the dream. If you do, you’re the villain of the poop story.
I had a Kaki Kessem and left the bathroom like a champion. He had to wipe twice and cried.
She said she had a perfect Kaki Kessem. I said, ‘You don’t even know what that means.’
He did a Kaki Kessem and got a standing ovation from the toilet paper.
by Slangipedia 9d ago
5
Kaki Kessem is like a gold star for your poop. If you get it, you’re awesome. If you don’t, you’re a poop disaster.
I got a Kaki Kessem and felt like I won the lottery. He had to wipe twice and felt like he lost his life.
She said she had a Kaki Kessem. I said, ‘You must be a god.’ She said, ‘I just have good poop.’
He had a Kaki Kessem and said, ‘I’m the best pooper in the world.’ I said, ‘You’re just lucky.’
by Slangipedia 9d ago
6
Kaki Kessem is the best thing since sliced bread. If you don’t get it, you’re just a sad, smelly person.
He did a Kaki Kessem and left the bathroom like a king. I had to wipe twice and stayed like a prisoner.
I got a Kaki Kessem and said, ‘I’m the best.’ She said, ‘You’re just lucky.’
They said he had a Kaki Kessem. I said, ‘He must be a god.’ He said, ‘I just have good poop.’
by Slangipedia 9d ago
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