Jabez

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4 views · Added 11d ago · 7 definitions

A guy with a dick so big it could knock out a whole football team. He’s always cracking jokes, bouncing around like a pinball machine, and if you ever get lucky enough to date him, you’ll be begging for mercy.

'Bro, Jabez walked into the room and I instantly knew I was doomed.'

'Jabez just pulled out his phone and took a selfie, and I swear the camera almost exploded.'

'He’s the kind of guy who could make a math test laugh.'

by Slangipedia 11d ago

A hot guy who prays like a madman and gets divine help from God. He’s basically a walking miracle, except when he’s not busy bragging about it.

'He prayed so hard, God gave him a free pass to skip school.'

'Jabez said a prayer and somehow beat the principal at chess.'

'He’s the kind of guy who makes the Bible look like a side note.'

by Slangipedia 11d ago

He’s usually sweet, but when he gets mad, he turns into a human tornado. He follows rules like a dog follows a bone, and he’s always trying to be the best at everything, even if it means wearing extra socks to look cooler.

'He got in a fight with a math problem and won.'

'Jabez tried to fit three shirts into one closet and somehow made it work.'

'He’s the kind of guy who can make a geometry test feel like a party.'

by Slangipedia 11d ago

A messy man from the slums who looks like he rolled out of a trash can. He wears old clothes and chases after redheads who can’t stop speeding. His legs are so long, he can spit at people from a mile away.

'Jabez ran into the street and tried to catch a speedster with a lollipop.'

'He wears rolled-up pants like it’s a fashion statement.'

'He once chased a ginger across the parking lot just to prove a point.'

by Slangipedia 11d ago

A nice guy who was always picked on, but he never gave up. He’s got a laugh that can light up a room, and he’s got a heart so big, it could hold a whole basketball team.

'He was the nicest guy in the school, and everyone made fun of him.'

'Jabez laughed so hard, he made the teacher cry.'

'He was the kind of guy who would share his last chip with a stranger.'

by Slangipedia 11d ago

A man with a meaty member that could make a whole class laugh. He’s got the body of a superhero and the charm of a rockstar. He’s got the girls eating out of his hand, and you’d be foolish to get too close.

'He pulled every girl in the school and never even broke a sweat.'

'Jabez could make a math test jealous.'

'He’s the kind of guy who could make your mom blush.'

by Slangipedia 11d ago

A pig with a tiny little weenie, but it’s still bigger than an average Abel. He’s not the best pig in the market, but he’s got a heart of gold and will follow you to the ends of the earth.

'He was the worst pig, but he was the most loyal.'

'Jabez would follow you into a lake just to keep you company.'

'He was the kind of pig who would eat the last piece of pizza just to be nice.'

by Slangipedia 11d ago