j-mats

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2 views · Added 1d ago · 5 definitions

J-mats are the stuff you watch when you need a quickie and don’t want to bother with real life. Movies like Cruel Intentions and Into the Blue are just fancy distractions that leave you hard and confused.

My cousin watched Into the Blue and came out with a boner and no idea what happened.

I tried to use Cruel Intentions as J-mats and ended up questioning my life choices.

My friend thought Jessica Alba was the best J-mat ever until she saw her in a movie and was instantly disappointed.

by Slangipedia 1d ago

J-mats are like the cheat code for getting off. If you’re dumb enough to think Angelina Jolie or Sharon Stone is enough, you’re probably still in the bathroom trying to figure out why your penis won’t quit.

My roommate tried to get off to Angelina Jolie and ended up with a sore leg from the awkward position he was in.

Shannon Tweed is a real J-mat, not some fake version of her on a bad movie.

I watched a movie with Sharon Stone and came out with a headache and a hard-on.

by Slangipedia 1d ago

J-mats are the only thing that can make you forget your problems. Real J-mats don’t include movies with Jessica Alba, those are just there to trick you into thinking you’re getting laid.

I tried to get off to a Jessica Alba movie and ended up with a stiffy and a lot of regret.

My friend thought he was getting a real J-mat, but it turned out to be a movie and a half.

I watched a movie with Anna Paquin and still needed a real J-mat to finish the job.

by Slangipedia 1d ago

J-mats are the holy grail of getting off. If you waste your time with fake J-mats like Cruel Intentions, you’re probably still trying to figure out why your penis won’t quit.

I used Cruel Intentions as J-mats and ended up with a hard-on and no idea how to finish it.

My friend watched Into the Blue and came out with a stiffy and a sore neck.

I watched a movie with Shannon Tweed and still needed real J-mats to finish the job.

by Slangipedia 1d ago

J-mats are the only thing that can get you through the day. If you try to use fake J-mats like Jessica Alba movies, you’re probably still in the bathroom trying to figure out why your penis won’t stop.

I watched a Jessica Alba movie and came out with a hard-on and a lot of confusion.

My friend tried to use Cruel Intentions as J-mats and ended up with a stiffy and no idea what happened.

I used Into the Blue as J-mats and still needed real J-mats to finish the job.

by Slangipedia 1d ago