I Got Lauered

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3 views · Added 12d ago · 6 definitions

When someone hits on you so hard it feels like you're getting spanked by a group of bullies.

My boss kept saying I was 'fine' during lunch. I was fine. I was also confused and annoyed.

The guy at the gym said I had 'great legs.' I said, 'Great legs? I'm a full-body disaster.'

My coworker asked me out 10 times in one day. I told him I was going to start a new relationship with the coffee machine.

Getting hit on so much it feels like you're the main character of a horror movie.

My uncle asked me out at the family reunion. I said yes. Then he asked me out again. And again. And again.

The barista at my favorite coffee shop hit on me every time I came in. I started bringing my dog with me to get out of it.

My teacher hit on me during class. I told him I was dating my dog. He said he was dating his dog too. They started a relationship.

When someone doesn't stop flirting with you even after you tell them to stop.

I said I was taken. He said, 'That's okay. I'm a good backup plan.' I said, 'No, I'm a good backup plan.'

I told the guy at the store I wasn't interested. He said, 'You're just shy.' I said, 'I'm not shy. I'm a full-blown hermit.'

I told my friend I was getting Lauered. He said, 'That's cool. I'm getting Lauered too.' I said, 'Then we're both losers.'

Getting hit on so much it feels like you're in a love triangle with your dog and your coffee.

My dog hit on me. My coffee hit on me. My boss hit on me. I don't know who to pick.

I told the guy at the gym I was dating my dog. He said, 'That's cute. I'm dating my pizza.'

I told my teacher I was getting Lauered. He said, 'I'm getting Lauered too. I'm also dating my calculator.'

When someone hits on you so much it feels like you're in a wrestling match with a flirt.

I told the guy at the restaurant I was taken. He said, 'That's fine. I'll just take you.'

My neighbor hit on me every day. I told him I was going to start dating my cat. He said, 'I'm dating my cat too.'

I told my friend I was getting Lauered. He said, 'That's cool. I'm getting Lauered by my mom.'

When someone hits on you so much it feels like you're being mobbed by a group of flirts.

The guy at the bus stop hit on me. Then the next person hit on me. Then the next one. I was surrounded by flirts.

I told the guy at the store I was taken. He said, 'That's okay. I'll just take you.' I said, 'You're not taking me. I'm taking my dog.'

I told my coworker I was getting Lauered. He said, 'That's cool. I'm getting Lauered by my boss.' I said, 'That's not cool. That's a nightmare.'