I said I was taken. He said, 'That's okay. I'm a good backup plan.' I said, 'No, I'm a good backup plan.'

I told the guy at the store I wasn't interested. He said, 'You're just shy.' I said, 'I'm not shy. I'm a full-blown hermit.'

I told my friend I was getting Lauered. He said, 'That's cool. I'm getting Lauered too.' I said, 'Then we're both losers.'