I didn't ask for a sermon

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When you just wanted a simple answer but they turned it into a holy rant about why the thing exists and what it did to your grandpa.

'What is a burrito?' 'It's a mexican sandwich and it's the reason your grandpa's stomach is now a war zone.'

'What’s the weather like?' 'It’s not just rainy, it’s like the sky is crying for your soul.'

'What’s this button for?' 'It’s not just for changing your profile pic, it’s a gateway to chaos.'

When someone gives you more information than you asked for, like they’re trying to make you fail a test.

'What time is it?' 'It's 3:42 PM and it's the end of the world as you know it.'

'What’s this called?' 'It’s a pizza, but also a metaphor for your life.'

'What’s your name?' 'It’s Sarah, but also the reason your dog died.'

When you asked for a quick answer and they turned it into a full-blown lecture, like you were their student and they had a grading mood.

'What’s your favorite color?' 'Blue, because it’s the color of the sky, the ocean, and also my revenge against you.'

'What’s that smell?' 'It’s the smell of regret and burnt toast.'

'What’s this?' 'It’s a pen, but also a weapon of mass distraction.'

When someone gives you a full story about the thing you asked about, like they’re trying to make you cry or fall asleep.

'What is this?' 'It’s a pencil, but it has a sad backstory.'

'What’s the deal with this?' 'It’s a deal, and it’s about your future.'

'What’s your job?' 'I’m a barista, but I’m also a philosopher.'

When you just wanted one word and they gave you a paragraph, like they were trying to write a book and you were just the first sentence.

'What’s that?' 'It’s a book, and it’s about love, loss, and your mom’s bad decisions.'

'What’s your hobby?' 'I collect rocks, but also the pain of others.'

'What’s this called?' 'It’s a sandwich, but also the key to happiness.'

When you asked a simple question and they turned it into a full-blown drama, like they were in a soap opera and you were just the audience.

'What’s your name?' 'It’s Mark, but also the reason this drama is happening.'

'What’s this?' 'It’s a cup, but it’s also the symbol of your loneliness.'

'What’s that sound?' 'It’s the sound of your life falling apart.'