I can fix her/him/them

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3 views · Added 11d ago · 5 definitions

1
The stupid idea that you can turn a hot mess into a normal person with just love and some bad decisions. You’re the kind of person who thinks a cheating, lying, drugged-out mess can be fixed with a heart-to-heart and a cup of coffee.
I can fix him. He just needs a little love and a new hair cut.
She’s not a lost cause. I can fix her. I’ve fixed worse.
I can fix them all. I’ve fixed three exes and a parakeet.
2
The wild belief that you can turn someone who’s been cheating, lying, and stealing your socks into someone who actually listens to you. You’ve probably been in three relationships and all of them ended the same way.
I can fix him. He just needs a little time and a lot of patience.
I can fix her. I’ve fixed two exes and a broken toaster.
I can fix them. I fixed my brother’s girlfriend. I fixed my neighbor. I fixed my cat.
3
The dumb idea that you can take someone who’s been cheating, stealing, and living in a trash can and turn them into a normal, sane, well-dressed person. You think you’re special. You’re not. You’re just delusional.
I can fix him. I’ve fixed my cousin’s boyfriend. I’ve fixed my mom’s ex. I’ve fixed my dog.
I can fix her. She just needs a new job and a better haircut.
I can fix them. I’ve fixed three exes, my sister, and my phone.
4
The crazy idea that you can take someone who’s been cheating, lying, and stealing your chips and make them into someone you can actually live with. You’ve tried this before. It didn’t work. But you still think you’re the exception.
I can fix him. I’ve fixed my brother’s best friend. I’ve fixed my neighbor’s dad. I’ve fixed my parakeet.
I can fix her. I just need a little time and a lot of coffee.
I can fix them. I’ve fixed three exes, my dog, and my phone.
5
The stupid, overused belief that you can take someone who’s been cheating, stealing, and living in a trash can and make them into your perfect partner. You’ve tried it before. It didn’t work. But you still think you’re the exception.
I can fix him. I’ve fixed my cousin’s ex. I’ve fixed my neighbor’s cat. I’ve fixed my phone.
I can fix her. I’ve fixed my sister’s best friend. I’ve fixed my dog. I’ve fixed my parakeet.
I can fix them. I’ve fixed three exes. I’ve fixed my mom’s ex. I’ve fixed my phone.
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