Hacer un Pedro Sánchez

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When you swear on your dead grandma’s bones you’ll never do something, but you do it so bad it looks like you were paid to do it.

I said I’d never eat another taco. Now I’m eating tacos for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

I told my mom I’d never fail math. Now I’m failing math and crying in the hallway.

I promised I’d never text my ex. Now I’m texting my ex and crying in the bathroom.

When you say you’ll never do something, but you do it so fast it looks like you were born doing it.

I said I’d never drink beer. Now I’m drinking beer and passing out on the couch.

I told my friend I’d never eat a whole pizza. Now I’m eating a whole pizza and passing gas in the living room.

I said I’d never text my ex. Now I’m texting my ex and passing out on the floor.

When you lie about never doing something, but you do it so bad it looks like you were cursed by a witch.

I said I’d never take a shower. Now I’m taking a shower and crying because I forgot my soap.

I told my dad I’d never clean my room. Now I’m cleaning my room and crying because I found my old baby blanket.

I said I’d never talk to my ex. Now I’m talking to my ex and crying because I’m still in love.