Hacer un Pedro Sánchez

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1
When you swear on your dead grandma’s bones you’ll never do something, but you do it so bad it looks like you were paid to do it.
I said I’d never eat another taco. Now I’m eating tacos for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
I told my mom I’d never fail math. Now I’m failing math and crying in the hallway.
I promised I’d never text my ex. Now I’m texting my ex and crying in the bathroom.
2
When you say you’ll never do something, but you do it so fast it looks like you were born doing it.
I said I’d never drink beer. Now I’m drinking beer and passing out on the couch.
I told my friend I’d never eat a whole pizza. Now I’m eating a whole pizza and passing gas in the living room.
I said I’d never text my ex. Now I’m texting my ex and passing out on the floor.
3
When you lie about never doing something, but you do it so bad it looks like you were cursed by a witch.
I said I’d never take a shower. Now I’m taking a shower and crying because I forgot my soap.
I told my dad I’d never clean my room. Now I’m cleaning my room and crying because I found my old baby blanket.
I said I’d never talk to my ex. Now I’m talking to my ex and crying because I’m still in love.
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