facebooker

1 views · Added 3d ago · 6 definitions

A kid who lives on Facebook, posting and scrolling like it’s their full-time job. They’d rather message their crush than do homework.

Just posted a selfie at 11 PM. I’m not sleeping. I’m just waiting for my crush to like it.

I got a message from my ex. I replied instantly. Then I checked my notifications 10 times.

I changed my status to ‘sleeping’ just so my friend would see it and ask why I’m not online.

A person who friend-requests strangers like they’re trying to start a war. They post on your wall just to get you to post on theirs.

I friend-requested my math teacher. She didn’t accept. I posted ‘I miss math’ on her wall. She posted back ‘I miss you.’

I left a comment on my crush’s wall. He left one on mine. Now I’m stuck in a comment war.

I posted ‘I’m bored’ on 20 people’s walls. Now I have 20 more messages to reply to.

A person who checks Facebook more than they check their phone. They know every status update and message before you even post it.

I know my best friend’s status before she even posts it. I’ve been on Facebook for 8 hours straight.

I saw my crush’s message before he sent it. I replied before he even typed it.

I know my mom’s conversation with my dad before she even texts me about it.

A person who looks like a model on Facebook but is a total mess in real life. They post a perfect photo but show up at school in pajamas.

My crush posted a photo of them in a fancy outfit. I showed up to school in pajamas and a sock.

She posted a photo of her eating a salad. I saw her at lunch eating a burger and fries.

He posted a photo of himself working out. He showed up to class crying from lack of sleep.

A website run by the CIA to spy on brainwashed kids who think fashion and sports are more important than real life.

Facebook is just a trap. They want you to post statuses so they can track you.

They use Facebook to get you to post so they can know your thoughts.

They make you follow trends so you forget how to think for yourself.

A website that hates you. It blocks you for no reason, then gives you a list of things to do that don’t even make sense.

They blocked me for no reason. Then they gave me a list of 10 things to do. None of them made sense.

I tried to fix my account. They told me to do something else. It just made it worse.

I did everything they told me to do. They still blocked me.