Facebook Pounce

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#facebookpounce #exhausting #half-decentfriends

2 views · Added 13d ago · 5 definitions

When someone changes their relationship status to single on Facebook and all their half-decent friends jump on the bandwagon just to try and get in their pants.

Just saw my ex's ex post 'Single again? Congrats! Let me know if you need a shoulder to cry on.'

My neighbor’s cousin liked my ex’s single post and sent a DM saying, 'You look good enough to eat.'

My teacher posted 'Single again? Don’t worry, I’ve got a cup of coffee for you.' I’m not even sure if she’s single anymore.

by Slangipedia 13d ago

A Facebook pounce is when a bunch of people who barely know you suddenly start liking your single status just because they think you're hot and want to bang you.

My coworker liked my single post and wrote, 'You’re back on the market. Let’s get drunk and forget this ever happened.'

My gym buddy messaged me, 'Single again? I’ve been waiting for this moment since 2018.'

My ex’s friend sent me a message saying, 'You look like you could use a new guy.' I did not ask for this.

by Slangipedia 13d ago

When you break up and suddenly everyone you've ever met starts liking your single post like it's a free pass to your pants.

My mom liked my single post and said, 'You look like you need a new guy. I can help.'

My friend’s dog liked my single post (or maybe it was my uncle). Either way, it was weird.

My boss wrote, 'Single again? I’ve got a coupon for you.' I don’t even work there anymore.

by Slangipedia 13d ago

A Facebook pounce is when people you barely know start liking your single post and pretending they care, just so they can try to hook up with you.

My neighbor wrote, 'Single again? Let’s get a pizza and forget this ever happened.'

My cousin sent me a message that said, 'You’re back on the market. I’ve got a date for you.'

My ex’s ex’s brother liked my post and said, 'Single again? Let’s make this count.' I didn’t even know he existed.

by Slangipedia 13d ago

When you post you're single and all your fake friends start liking it just so they can try to get in your pants and pretend they care.

My friend’s mom liked my post and said, 'You look like you need a new guy. I’ve got a friend for you.'

My ex’s best friend messaged me and said, 'You’re back on the market. I’ve been waiting for this since 2015.'

My uncle sent me a DM: 'Single again? Let’s go to the bar and forget this ever happened.' I didn’t even ask for this.

by Slangipedia 13d ago