face-ripper

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A huge, sudden jump in stock prices that makes short-sellers scream like they just saw their mom in a nudist colony.

'I shorted AAPL at 150, and now it's 200! My face is a ripper!'

My cousin lost his house because of this face-ripper!

I just got roasted by my boss for missing this face-ripper.

When the stock market goes up so fast it feels like your brain got hit by a truck full of confetti and swear words.

'This face-ripper is like my ex coming back with a new job and a new dog!'

I was eating pizza when this face-ripper hit, and now I'm crying in my sauce.

My mom called me and said, 'You're rich, but I still hate you.'

A sudden, brutal stock rise that turns short-sellers into crying babies who just got told they're adopted.

'This face-ripper is like my gym teacher giving me a 100 on my test!'

I was watching cat videos and this face-ripper hit me like a cat with a megaphone.

My brother lost $10,000 and now he’s mad at me for liking memes more than him.

A stock market spike so intense it makes short-sellers wish they were dead, or at least on vacation with their ex.

'I shorted TSLA at 250, and now it's 300! This face-ripper is my punishment!'

This face-ripper hit me like my dad showed up at my house with a new job and a new girlfriend.

I just got a text from my friend saying, 'You're rich, but I'm still mad at you.'

A stock market jump so big it makes short-sellers feel like they got kicked in the crotch by a goat wearing a crown.

'This face-ripper is like my mom winning the lottery and then telling me I have to do my chores.'

I was eating cereal when this face-ripper hit, and now my cereal is gone and so is my dignity.

My friend just texted me, 'You're rich, but I'm still mad at you.'

A stock market surge that feels like your brain got kicked out of your head and sent to jail.

'I shorted the market and now it's like my brain got a promotion!'

This face-ripper hit me like my dog just won the lottery and bought me a new house.

My uncle lost all his money and now he's mad at my mom.