face-ripper - When the stock market goes up so fast it feels like your bra

When the stock market goes up so fast it feels like your brain got hit by a truck full of confetti and swear words.

'This face-ripper is like my ex coming back with a new job and a new dog!'

I was eating pizza when this face-ripper hit, and now I'm crying in my sauce.

My mom called me and said, 'You're rich, but I still hate you.'