face pubes

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1 views · Added 5d ago · 5 definitions

1
Face pubes are the sad, sparse hairs that appear on your face when you’re too old to look cool but too young to look wise. It’s like your beard is trying to grow but it’s being held back by laziness and bad genes.
My face pubes look like a raccoon tried to grow a beard and failed.
He’s got face pubes so thin you could use them as a toothpick.
My dad’s face pubes are so patchy they look like a map of his bad decisions.
by Slangipedia 5d ago
2
Face pubes are the worst kind of facial hair. They’re not a beard. They’re not a goatee. They’re just a bunch of hairs pretending to be a beard and making everyone laugh.
My face pubes are so bad they make my cat look like a professional barber.
He’s got face pubes so bad they’re a public service announcement.
My face pubes are so bad my dog walks in front of me now.
by Slangipedia 5d ago
3
Face pubes are like the afterlife of a failed mustache. They’re the hairs that never quite made it to the full beard and just hang around looking confused.
His face pubes are so bad they’re like a failed art project.
My face pubes are so bad I think my face is giving up on me.
She’s got face pubes so bad they look like they were glued on by a drunk kid.
by Slangipedia 5d ago
4
Face pubes are when a man tries to grow a mustache but ends up with a patch of hair on his face that looks like he used pubes as glue.
He tried to grow a mustache and ended up with face pubes. Classic.
My face pubes are so bad they look like someone took my pubes and glued them on my face.
His face pubes are so bad I think he used his sister’s pubes as glue.
by Slangipedia 5d ago
5
Face pubes are the kind of beard that looks like it was born in a pubic jungle and came out to take over the world. It’s messy. It’s wild. It’s a disaster.
His face pubes are so thick they look like they’re trying to take over the world.
She’s got face pubes that look like a pubic jungle broke out on her face.
My face pubes are so wild they look like they were born in a jungle and never came out.
by Slangipedia 5d ago
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