E.U.I.

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sending emails while your brain is as fried as a bacon-wrapped hot dog

Hey Mom, I just got a raise. I think. Maybe. I might have just texted my boss ‘I’m not dead yet’

To my crush: ‘I like you. Also, I think I’m in a relationship with my coffee machine.’

To my boss: ‘I’m not quitting. I’m just taking a 3-day vacation to figure out what I’m doing.’

typing messages with the brainpower of a sleep-deprived toddler on a sugar high

To my ex: ‘You were the best. Also, I still have your sock. It’s in my sock drawer. I know.’

To my coworker: ‘I think I’m going to take the day off. Or maybe just the morning. Or maybe just the part where I have to talk.’

To my dog: ‘You’re the best. Also, I think I just ate your homework.’

emailing like you just woke up and your brain is still in the trash can

To my mom: ‘I love you. Also, I might have just sent this email to my entire class.’

To my crush: ‘I like you. Also, I think I just texted my crush’s crush.’

To my boss: ‘I think I’m going to work from my couch. Also, my cat is now my assistant.’

emailing while your brain is so drunk it’s trying to find its own sock

To my crush: ‘I like you. Also, I think I just sent this email to my crush’s crush’s mom.’

To my boss: ‘I think I’m going to take the day off. Also, I think I just ate my keyboard.’

To my friend: ‘You’re the best. Also, I think I just sent this email to my dog’s ex.’

emailing like you just finished a marathon and your brain is now a bag of chips

To my crush: ‘I like you. Also, I think I just sent this email to my crush’s crush’s dad.’

To my boss: ‘I think I’m going to work from my couch. Also, my cat is now my boss.’

To my mom: ‘I love you. Also, I think I just sent this email to my entire family’s dog.’