Eatweeting

13 views · Added 2mo ago · 5 definitions

When you stuff your face like a pig while screaming nonsense at Twitter because you're too lazy to stop eating.

I just ate three burgers and tweeted 'life is good' while my face looked like a meat locker.

Tweeted 'I’m not fat, I’m just strategically placed' while eating a whole pizza.

Sent a DM saying 'I’m alive, just barely' while devouring a taco salad like it was a final exam.

Eating so fast you forget you're on Twitter and start yelling at your food like it betrayed you.

Ate a whole sandwich in 10 seconds and yelled 'I hate you' at my phone.

Tweeted 'This burrito is the worst' while still chewing the first bite.

Sent a tweet saying 'I’m not crying, I’m just sad' while eating a bowl of cereal like it was a death sentence.

When you're too full to think straight and your tweets are just a bunch of food-related nonsense.

Tweeted 'I’m not hungry, I’m just low on energy' while eating a whole cake.

Sent a DM saying 'I love you' while eating a plate of spaghetti like it was a love letter.

Posted 'I’m not tired, I’m just full' while still eating a second pizza.

Eating so much you can’t even type properly and your tweets look like they were written by a drunk raccoon.

Tweeted 'I’m not fat, I’m just a human meatball' while eating a whole pizza.

Sent a DM that said 'I’m alive, just barely' while eating a taco like it was a last meal.

Posted 'I’m not lazy, I’m just full' while still chewing a burger.

When you're eating so much you forget you're on Twitter and start sending messages to yourself like you're in a food-induced trance.

Sent a tweet to myself saying 'You’re doing great' while eating a whole cake.

Tweeted 'I love you' to my own account while eating a plate of spaghetti.

DMed myself 'Don’t forget to eat' while devouring a second burger like it was a holy grail.