Eat a sandwich

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To get high on weed while pretending you're not, usually when you're with people who would laugh at you if they knew you smoked.

Bro, I'm eating a sandwich at the mall. Don't tell my mom.

I just ate a sandwich in my teacher's office. She didn't even notice.

I'm eating a sandwich in the principal's car. He's gonna fire me.

What skinny people get told by fat people who are jealous of their looks and wish they could be thin too.

You're so skinny, you look like a bag of chips. I eat a sandwich and I still feel fat.

You're eating a sandwich and I'm just sitting here looking like a hot dog.

You're eating a sandwich, and I'm eating a whole sandwich and still feel like a hot dog.

A fake way of saying you're high, used by people who don't want their kids to know they smoke weed but still tell them about their stupid love life.

I told my kids I was eating a sandwich, but I was really high.

I said I was eating a sandwich, but I was actually high and had a threesome.

I told my kids I was eating a sandwich, but I was high and I had a threesome.

What a fat, jealous woman yells at a thin woman because she's mad that the thin woman is attractive and might steal her man.

You're eating a sandwich and I'm eating a whole sandwich and still look like a hot dog.

You're eating a sandwich and you're still beautiful. I'm eating a whole sandwich and I look like a hot dog.

You're eating a sandwich and I'm just sitting here looking like a hot dog.

When a guy sucks another guy's penis while he's stuck inside another guy's butt.

I was eating a sandwich and I got stuck inside a guy's butt and had to suck his penis.

I was eating a sandwich and got stuck in a guy's butt and had to suck his penis.

I was eating a sandwich, got stuck in a guy's butt, and had to suck his penis.

When you go out with a girl just because you like how she looks, not because you actually like her.

I went out with her because she looked hot. I didn't even care if she was a bad listener.

I went out with her because she looked like a sandwich. I didn't even care if she talked too much.

I went out with her because she looked like a bag of chips. I didn't even care if she talked too much.

When someone does something super dumb, even if they're usually not dumb.

I ate a sandwich in my teacher's office. That was dumb.

I ate a sandwich in my principal's car. That was super dumb.

I ate a sandwich in my mom's kitchen. That was the dumbest thing I ever did.