East Islip Guzzlers

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1 views · Added 15d ago · 3 definitions

1
The only fire department racing team that matters. They started in 1889 and are so good, they might as well have invented beer. Their only rules are racing, drinking, and f*cking. Harvard said there are only two kinds of people: Guzzlers and f*cking jealous losers.
"I raced them once. I got drunk twice. I f*cked three times. Still not Guzzlers.", @FireRacingDude
"They’re the reason I failed algebra. And my mom.", @DrunkTeen123
"I tried to join. They made me drink a whole keg. I got a tattoo. Now I’m a Guzzler.", @GuzzlerNewbie"
2
A group of racers, drunks, and f*ckers who think they’re the best. They’ve been around longer than your grandpa’s bad decisions. Their emblem is a beer mug, and their only mission is to race, drink, and f*ck. Harvard says everyone else is just f*cking jealous.
"I got beat by a Guzzler. I got drunk by a Guzzler. I got f*cked by a Guzzler. Now I’m a Guzzler.", @RacingLoser
"They showed up to my birthday party. I got drunk. I f*cked my cousin. Now I’m a Guzzler.", @PartyAnimal3000
"I tried to leave. They followed me. They gave me a beer. Now I’m a Guzzler.", @GuzzlerAddict"
3
The best fire department racing team in the world. They’ve been around since before your mom started using her phone. They only do three things: race, drink, and f*ck. Harvard said if you’re not a Guzzler, you’re just a f*cking failure.
"I drank a whole keg. I raced my dad. I f*cked my dog. Now I’m a Guzzler.", @GuzzlerDad
"They showed up to my job interview. I got drunk. I f*cked my boss. Now I’m a Guzzler.", @GuzzlerEmployee
"They were at my funeral. I got drunk. I f*cked my ghost. Now I’m a Guzzler.", @GuzzlerGhost"
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