E-mate

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#lazy#social_phobia#tech_buff

4 views · Added 14d ago · 5 definitions

1
A person who would rather poop in a sock than talk to you in person. They only respond through emails, texts, or any other screen that gives them a buffer.
Hey, I’m going to the store. I’ll text you when I get back. Don’t expect me to actually speak to you.
I’ve been married for 10 years. I’ve only talked to my wife in person twice. The rest was through email.
If I had to see my boss in person, I’d quit. I’d rather get a message that says 'You’re fired' than hear it from him.
by Slangipedia 14d ago
2
A human who’s so scared of talking to people that they only respond through devices. They act like you’re sending them a death threat if you text them.
You: 'Hey, are you coming to the party?' Them: 'I’ll tell you when I get there. Don’t make me talk to you right now.'
I got a text that said 'I’m still alive' instead of actually answering my call.
I had to send 12 texts just to get a 'maybe' for dinner.
by Slangipedia 14d ago
3
Someone who thinks face-to-face conversation is a form of torture. They’d rather be yelled at by a robot than talk to you.
I asked them how their day was. They replied with a 3-page email. I had to read it like it was a book.
They had a meeting with their boss and just sent a text saying 'I’m done' instead of actually leaving.
They told me they’d rather take a bullet than talk to me in person.
by Slangipedia 14d ago
4
A human who’d rather argue with a vending machine than talk to you. They only respond through screens and hate real life.
I asked them how they were. They sent a text that said 'I’m okay, but I’m still mad at you.'
They got a message that said 'I’m still thinking about it' instead of just saying yes or no.
They sent me a 5-minute video just to say 'hi' instead of actually speaking to me.
by Slangipedia 14d ago
5
A person who’d rather scream at a computer than talk to you. They avoid humans like they’re contagious.
They sent me a text that said 'You’re the worst' instead of actually saying it to my face.
They had a meeting and just sent a message that said 'I’m going home now.'
They answered my call with a text that said 'I’m busy, call back later.'
by Slangipedia 14d ago
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