E-mate
A person who would rather poop in a sock than talk to you in person. They only respond through emails, texts, or any other screen that gives them a buffer.
Hey, I’m going to the store. I’ll text you when I get back. Don’t expect me to actually speak to you.
I’ve been married for 10 years. I’ve only talked to my wife in person twice. The rest was through email.
If I had to see my boss in person, I’d quit. I’d rather get a message that says 'You’re fired' than hear it from him.