Dadimagedon

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2 views · Added 14d ago · 5 definitions

1
A dad who acts like he's got a sixth sense for when his daughter is about to mess up her life. He'll eat her if she dates the wrong guy or shows up to a party without asking.
My dad texted me: 'If you go to that party, I'll eat you. No exceptions.'
He called me at 2 AM: 'You're dating a guy who wears socks with sandals? I'm coming to eat you.'
He sent a DM: 'You're grounded. And I'm saving up to eat you.'
2
A dad who's basically a monster in disguise. He lets you live your life, but if you make one wrong move, he'll devour you like it's the end of the world.
He texted me: 'You broke up with your boyfriend? I'm coming over to eat you.'
He called me during lunch: 'You're dating a guy who doesn't like pizza? I'm eating you at dinner.'
He sent a tweet: 'My daughter made a mistake. I'm eating her. #Dadimagedon'
3
A dad who thinks he's the boss of your love life. If you date someone he doesn't like, he'll eat you. No questions asked. No mercy.
He texted me: 'You're dating a guy who doesn't know what a sandwich is? I'm eating you.'
He called me at 1 AM: 'You're dating a guy who thinks shoes are optional? I'm eating you.'
He sent a DM: 'I'm saving up to eat you. Don't make me do it.'
4
A dad who will literally eat you if you don't follow his dating rules. He's like a hungry beast who only wants the best for you, and the best means no mess-ups.
He texted me: 'You're dating a guy who doesn't know what a sock is? I'm eating you.'
He called me during a movie: 'You went to the party without asking me? I'm eating you.'
He sent a tweet: 'I'm a hungry dad. My daughter made a mistake. I'm eating her.'
5
A dad who's got a sixth sense for when you're about to fail. He'll eat you if you don't do what he says. No mercy. No escape.
He texted me: 'You're dating a guy who doesn't know what a lunch is? I'm eating you.'
He called me during dinner: 'You went to the party without asking me? I'm eating you.'
He sent a DM: 'You're going to fail. I'm eating you.'
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