Dadimagedon
A dad who will literally eat you if you don't follow his dating rules. He's like a hungry beast who only wants the best for you, and the best means no mess-ups.
He texted me: 'You're dating a guy who doesn't know what a sock is? I'm eating you.'
He called me during a movie: 'You went to the party without asking me? I'm eating you.'
He sent a tweet: 'I'm a hungry dad. My daughter made a mistake. I'm eating her.'