a warm welcome

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6 views · Added 17d ago · 7 definitions

1
Blowing hot breath on someone’s junk before you go down on them like they’re your favorite snack.
My cousin blew on my balls like I was a hot dog before he ate me.
She took a breath so strong it felt like a hurricane on my crotch.
He said, 'Let me warm you up,' and I knew it was gonna be a long night.
2
Hugging someone like a vice and then peeing your pants like you just won a gold medal in the pee Olympics.
I hugged my brother so tight he cried, then I peed my pants like I was a kid again.
She gave me a bear hug and then I peed myself like I was scared of a clown.
He hugged me like he was trying to squeeze the life out of me, then I peed myself like I just saw a ghost.
3
Farting in someone’s face during a 69 and then using your leg to choke them like you’re the king of smelly kings.
He farted in my face and then choked me like I was a prisoner.
During our 69, he let one rip and I had to hold my breath like I was drowning.
She farted so loud I thought the toilet was going to explode, then she choked me like I owed her money.
4
Putting your neighbor’s doorknob up your butt and then shitting so hard it looks like a doorknob is growing out of your ass.
I put the doorknob up my butt and then I pooped so much it looked like the knob was part of me.
He put the knob up his butt and then shat it out like he was a robot.
She put the doorknob up her butt and it came out the other end like a magical trick.
5
Going to the master bathroom, clogging the toilet, shitting on used toilet paper, and then locking the door like you just robbed a bank.
I turned off the toilet, took a dump, and then wiped with paper I had used before.
He clogged the toilet, shat on used paper, and locked the door like he was hiding from the police.
She turned off the water, took a dump, and then left like she was the last person on Earth.
6
Farting while sitting on the toilet and then getting hit with a blast of air that smells like a dead animal in a garbage can.
He farted so hard the air came up his legs and hit him in the face like a punch.
I farted while sitting on the toilet and it felt like my pants were on fire.
She farted so loud the toilet started shaking like it was a dragon in there.
7
Suddenly peeing or pooping in your pants like you just saw a ghost and it scared you to death.
I leaked in my pants like I had just been chased by a monster.
She peed in her pants like she just saw a spider the size of a horse.
He pooped in his pants like he had just been hit by a truck.
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