a pound of tongue

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A brutal face-full of spit and tongue, like a dog getting licked by a man who smells like old pizza and regret

My cousin got a pound of tongue after he kissed my aunt at the family reunion.

He tried to flirt with the barista, and she gave him a pound of tongue right there in front of everyone.

My dad got a pound of tongue from my mom because he forgot their anniversary.

When someone licks you so hard, it feels like you’re being eaten by a tongue that’s also got a bad case of smelly feet

My brother got a pound of tongue from his girlfriend after he cheated on her with her sister.

At the party, the DJ gave me a pound of tongue because I heckled him too much.

My dog got a pound of tongue from my neighbor’s kid because he peed on her lawn.

A full-on tongue assault that makes you wish you had a mouth full of teeth and a stomach full of revenge

I got a pound of tongue from my crush after I told him his hair looked like a raccoon’s nest.

My mom gave me a pound of tongue because I forgot to do my homework again.

The guy at the gym got a pound of tongue from his girlfriend because he didn’t lift heavy enough.

When someone licks you so hard, it feels like you're getting a facial from a monster who hasn’t brushed his teeth in a month

My friend got a pound of tongue from his girlfriend after he called her a ‘boring blob’ in front of her friends.

I got a pound of tongue from my teacher because I talked during her lesson.

My dog got a pound of tongue from the mailman because he took a cookie from the cookie jar.

A full-on tongue attack so fierce, it’s like getting kissed by a dragon who also has a bad case of athlete’s foot

My dad got a pound of tongue from my mom after he yelled at the TV too loud.

My brother got a pound of tongue from his girlfriend because he stole her phone.

I got a pound of tongue from my crush after I told him his hair looked like a raccoon’s nest again.

A tongue attack so strong, it’s like getting licked by a dog who also has a mouth full of stinky cheese

My mom gave me a pound of tongue because I forgot to clean my room again.

My crush gave me a pound of tongue after I made fun of his shirt.

My dog got a pound of tongue from the mailman because he took two cookies.