A Cortez

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#legend#smell-o-maniac#heart-of-gold

4 views · Added 17d ago · 7 definitions

1
The most awesome guy ever. He's smart, funny, and can make you feel like the world is your oyster. He's got a nose that smells like a dumpster fire and a heart that's softer than a baby's butt.
A Cortez walked into the room and the whole class shut up.
He texted me a meme of a cat wearing sunglasses and I laughed so hard I cried.
He cried when his mom got a tattoo of a flamingo.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
2
The guy every girl wants. He’s cute, but he’ll take you on a ride so fast you’ll get motion sickness. He’s like a smoothie with way too much sugar and no sense of boundaries.
He asked me to prom and then took me to a 24-hour diner.
He said we could ‘just hang out’ and then drove me to the mall at 2 a. m.
He texted me a photo of a pizza with a duck on it and I said yes.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
3
When you take the cap off a bottle of hard A and toss it like it’s your ex’s head. You’re saying, ‘I’m drinking this whole thing, and I’m not coming back.’
He threw the cap at a pigeon and said, ‘You’re the only one who’ll ever get this.’
He drank the whole bottle in one go and passed out on the floor.
He texted me, ‘I’m drinking this and I’m not coming back.’
by Slangipedia 16d ago
4
The pirate who robs ships, steals treasure, and beats up people who don’t respect him. He’s got a hook for a hand and a laugh that sounds like a cannon firing.
He told me he robbed a ship and it was just a Walmart.
He said his hook was made from a sword and a piece of a broken heart.
He texted me, ‘I’m coming for you, and I bring pirates.’
by Slangipedia 16d ago
5
A town where everyone’s high, everyone’s sad, and the only thing you do is drag main and try to find a can of soda at Wal-Mart.
I went to Cortez and got high with my best friend’s mom.
I tried to drag main and ended up in a trailer park.
The only thing I found at Wal-Mart was a can of soda and my life.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
6
A guy who doesn’t have a girlfriend and works at Wal-Mart. That’s it. He lives in a box and dreams about getting a raise.
He told me he works at Wal-Mart and he dreams about getting a raise.
He said his life is like a box of cereal and it’s not even good cereal.
He texted me, ‘I’m just a guy who works at Wal-Mart.’
by Slangipedia 16d ago
7
A tiny guy who thinks he’s helping you, but he’s just being a pain in the ass. He’s like a lollipop that’s too sweet and leaves a stain.
He said he was helping me and then I got a pop quiz.
He smiled at me and I failed math.
He texted me, ‘I’m helping you, and I’m not even being mean.’
by Slangipedia 16d ago
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