P.A.N.D.A.S.
P. A. N. D. A. S. is when soldiers said they were getting a new dress to make their girlfriends happy, but really they were getting kicked out of the army because they couldn’t do their job and they got caught eating candy instead of doing push-ups.
Dear Jane, I got a new dress. I’m coming home. (He got caught eating candy.)
Hey Sue, I got a new dress. I’m out of the army. (He got fired for being stupid.)
Love, I got a new dress. I’m leaving the army. (He got caught eating candy again.)