Pakistani Middleman
You poop so bad that even the bidet can't handle it. So you turn it on, reach under, and use your left hand to scrape out the last bits like it was a crime scene.
I used my left hand to scrape out the last part of my poop like it was a secret message.
The bidet didn't clean it. I had to use my left hand to dig out the rest.
I was cleaning my poop with my left hand like I was digging for treasure.