Paisley shower

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A quick spray of deodorant under your arms and a slap of Axe on your junk to save face when you're too lazy to take a real shower before a big event.

I used Axe on my junk and called it a day before my first date. I looked like a man who just escaped a prison shower.

Showed up to court with a deodorant spray and a face like I’d been in a fight with a sock.

Used Lynx to cover my stank before my mom came over. She didn’t believe me, but I didn’t care.

When you’re too busy to wash, you just slap some body spray on your pits and hope no one notices you reek like a gym sock.

Used a body spray under my arms before my boss came in. He didn’t say anything, but I could tell he was thinking about getting a new one.

Before my first date, I sprayed myself like I was trying to impress a dog.

Used Lynx before my sister’s wedding and got called out for being the worst groom ever.

A desperate attempt to hide your stench with a quick spray and a hope that no one will notice you look like you rolled in a trash can.

Used Axe under my arms before my first job interview. I got the job, but I think the interviewer was just being nice.

Used deodorant on my pits and called it a shower before my mom’s surprise visit. She didn’t say anything, but I could feel her disappointment.

Before my friend’s birthday party, I sprayed myself and walked in like I was the main event.