Painful Martini

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To throw a bunch of different hurts at someone like they’re a broken toaster.

My dog got a Painful Martini after trying to eat my mom’s wedding ring.

My little brother got a Painful Martini from my dad for stealing my lunch money.

The guy at the gym got a Painful Martini from the weight set after it fell on him.

When someone gets hit with a variety of ouches like they’re a punchbag at a bar fight.

My friend got a Painful Martini from the karate class after he tripped into a cactus.

I got a Painful Martini from my sister for eating the last of the pizza.

The guy at the football game got a Painful Martini from the crowd after he yelled a bad joke.

To make someone feel like they’ve been run over by a truck, a bear, and a volleyball at the same time.

My cat got a Painful Martini from my dad for knocking over my mom’s coffee.

I got a Painful Martini from my brother for telling the class my secret.

The guy on the street got a Painful Martini from a group of kids for eating the last donut.