Paiden
A Paiden is a goat who can dunk on you and then rip your shirt off in the middle of the street. He’s got the brain of a genius and the cock of a beast.
You said you’d beat him in basketball. He beat you and then laughed in your face.
He texted you ‘I’m coming to your house’ and then showed up with a giant cup of coffee.
He said he’d be your boyfriend. You said he was a monster.