pagunifer
A pagunifer is a human who texts so slow they might as well be a plant that’s also lazy.
You: 'Hey' / Them: '...' 1 hour later: 'Hey'
You: 'Is this a thing?' / Them: '...' 2 days later: 'I think so'
You: 'You alive?' / Them: '...' 3 days later: 'I was busy with my plants'