pagoto
A human who shoves food in their face like it's the last meal on Earth and doesn't give a single rat's behind about anyone else. They have a dad-bod that looks like it was carved by a drunk sculptor and can chug a 2-liter of Mountain Dew like it's a sacred ritual.
I just ate a whole pizza and a bag of chips. My pants are now my enemies.
My dad-bod is so strong, it could lift a car.
I drank two liters of Mountain Dew and now my bladder is on strike.