Pageophile
Old men who hit on pages like they’re trying to get a date instead of doing real work. They send messages all day, then go to meetings where they get drunk and yell about politics.
Text: ‘Hey kid, I like you. I like your job. I like your face. Let’s be friends.’
Email: ‘You’re the best page. I’m the best man. Let’s be the best couple.’
DM: ‘I’m not here for politics. I’m here for you. And maybe a little bit of wine.’