Pageophile
Bald, farty, old men who can’t stop liking pages. They send messages like they’re trying to get a date instead of doing real work, and then they go get drunk.
Text: ‘You’re the best page. I’m the best man. Let’s be the best couple.’
Email: ‘You’re cute. I’m not cute. But I like you.’
DM: ‘I’m not here for politics. I’m here for you. And maybe a little bit of wine.’