Padre Wasted
When you get so wasted on South Padre Island that you think the sun is a giant beer can. You drink from sunrise to midnight and wake up with a hangover so bad it could beat up your mom.
I tried to go to the beach after Padre Wasted. I ended up in the ocean wearing only my underwear.
My brother tried to start a fire with a lighter and a bottle. The bottle caught on fire. So did his hair.
I saw a guy try to flirt with a lifeguard. He didn’t know who the lifeguard was. He didn’t know who he was.