paddle pilot
A lazy gamer who only plays on consoles because they’re too dumb to use a keyboard or a phone. They live in their mom’s basement and yell at the TV like it’s their enemy.
"My PlayStation is my only friend, and it doesn’t talk back!", A guy who’s been playing for 20 years
"I don’t know what ‘PC’ means, but it’s not my problem!", A paddle pilot who still thinks ‘Xbox Live’ is a real place
"I’ve never touched a phone, and I’m not going to start now!", A guy who thinks his controller is a weapon