paddle pilot
A gamer who only plays on consoles because they’re too dumb to use anything else. They spend all their time pressing buttons and never leave their room.
"I’ve never left my room since 2010!", A guy who’s been playing for 14 years
"I press buttons, I don’t think!", A paddle pilot who lives in his own world
"My console is my only friend, and it doesn’t even talk back!", A guy who’s been playing for 12 years