Pache
A pach is a messed-up spelling of patch. It's what people use when they're hoping for a software patch that will never come.
"That software patch is a pach. It's never gonna come.", Liam
"I asked for a patch, but I got a pach. That's not even real.", Olivia
"They said it would be a patch, but it's a pach. I'm gonna punch them.", Noah"