Pabst pounder
A Pabst pounder is a 16-ounce can of beer that people claim is a real can of weights, even though it’s just a can that probably weighs about as much as your problems.
"I'm getting a Pabst pounder, because I need that strength to beat my boss."
My sister said, "I'm getting a Pabst pounder, because I'm done with my sad life."
My neighbor texted me, "Just got a Pabst pounder, and I'm already drunk on regret."