P2Plug
A butt plug that sends messages through your butt. It's used by cops and spies to talk in secret. You can't help but get messages when your butt is plugged in.
"My butt plug told me my crush had a crush on me. I almost died from happiness."
"The cop sent me a butt message: 'You're a bad kid.' I got grounded."
"My butt plug told me the thief's name. I called the cops and he got caught."