O'religious one

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the nickname you give your girlfriend when she comes back from church camp like she’s been brainwashed and won’t let you touch her anymore.

My girlfriend came back from camp and said, 'I’m not touching you until you repent.' I said, 'I’m not repenting, I’m leaving.'

She told me she’d rather pray than kiss me. I told her I’d rather punch her.

She came back and said, 'I’m now a virgin.' I said, 'You were a virgin before camp.'

what you call your girlfriend when she goes to church camp and comes back thinking she’s a saint and won’t let you have any fun.

She said, 'I’m not going to sleep with you anymore.' I said, 'You didn’t sleep with me before, what’s the difference?'

She told me she’d rather sing hymns than have sex. I told her I’d rather sing hymns at the top of my lungs.

She said she was called to a higher purpose. I said I was called to a higher nap.

the name you give your girlfriend after she spends a week at church camp and acts like she’s been blessed and won’t let you near her.

She came back and said, 'I’m now a holy woman.' I said, 'You were a holy woman before you left.'

She told me she had a vision. I told her I had a headache.

She said she was too blessed to be with me. I said I was too blessed to be with her.