Ocular Distortion Factor

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When a woman looks like a fireball with sunglasses on, but the second she takes them off, she’s just a sad, sweaty mess

She looked like a goddess in the sunglasses. Then she took them off and I saw her face. It was like watching a fireball turn into a burnt pancake.

He asked her out. She said yes with sunglasses on. Then she took them off and he ran away like he was on fire.

I thought she was a queen. Then she took off her sunglasses and I realized she was just a guy’s ex who hadn’t showered in a week.

When sunglasses make a woman look like a legend, but without them, she looks like she just woke up from a nap in a trash can

She was a rockstar in the sunglasses. Then she took them off and I saw her face. It looked like it had been used as a napkin for a chili dog.

He thought she was a goddess. Then she took off her sunglasses and he asked if she had a mirror on her face.

I told my friend she was a queen. Then she took off her sunglasses and I had to tell him she was a queen who’d just lost a bet.

When sunglasses make a woman look like a superhero, but when she takes them off, she looks like she just ate a whole pizza and cried

She was a superhero with the sunglasses on. Then she took them off and I saw her face. It looked like it had been through a war.

He was ready to propose. Then she took off her sunglasses and he said, 'I can’t do this. She looks like she just ate a whole pizza and cried.'

She was the love of my life with the sunglasses on. Then she took them off and I said, 'I need a divorce.'