Oculachromist

I saw a guy with green eyes and immediately called him a f***ing traitor.

My cousin got engaged to a blue-eyed person, and I told her she was making a f***ing mistake.

I refused to eat at a restaurant because the waiter had brown eyes, and I said, 'No way, I won’t be f***ed by that eye color.'

My friend got a job at a coffee shop, and when he saw the barista had red eyes, he walked out and said, 'I’m not f***ing working with that eye color.'

I wouldn’t even talk to my neighbor because he has purple eyes, and I said, 'I’d rather live in silence than be f***ed by those eyes.'

I threw a f***ing tantrum in the mall because the salesperson had yellow eyes, and I left without buying anything.

I started a f***ing argument with my brother because he said my eyes were ‘not cool enough’ and I told him he was a f***ing eye-color-f***er.

At a party, I challenged someone to a f***ing eye-color battle because I thought their eyes looked like they were f***ed up.

I wouldn’t even shake someone’s hand if they had the wrong eye color, and I told them, 'You’re not even worth the f***ing handshake.'