octuple-3C
An octuple-third-cousin is someone who shares your family mess but isn’t close enough to help you with it. You have two parents, four grandparents, eight great-grandparents, and sixteen great-great-grandparents in common. That’s a lot of people who don’t know how to fix your life.
My octuple-third-cousin called me and said, 'We have 16 great-great-grandparents in common. Let’s get drunk and forget about it.'
At the family reunion, my octuple-third-cousin asked, 'Why do we have so many great-grandparents? Is that a family problem or a math problem?'
My octuple-third-cousin sent me a text that said, 'We have 16 great-great-grandparents in common. Let’s get a tattoo and pretend we’re related.'